They haunt, my demons they bite!
They crawl through my brain at night–
my shadow lost in darkness,
An invisible shade too weak at twilight to speak–
alone…I can’t fight…
I wish I could bottle your essence,
rub a dab of your exuberance upon my tongue!
Then, I’d bust my demon ghosts on the inside where they hide.
Maybe learn how to appropriately love.
frigid fingers tap my fear of time
skin over bones nerve-needle
pricks like getting bit as I type it
in truth my love, no more lies:
No one needs my shit in their life.
As if set to chant-speed, the visions of you beat in my brain, steady flashes of your smile beat with each breath, a pounding heart beneath my breast applauding the splendor that radiates through me when I see you, whether you look at me through a screen, behind a mirrored mask, or bathed in dreamy-blue, I always adore you, as if our love were true, a reality I can hold…
someday…
and off I go!
A dream away through my days.
As the season falls, warmth in my world is as elusive as a hummingbird’s wings. I’m tiny, so my bones shiver in the Indiana damp-cold. I fear winter, like death, knowing it’s just the next step. I tend to hibernate in my cave, alone in my mind, waiting desperate for spring, when the sun brings a blaze of shine and I can feel its warmth! Then, my heart can again embrace the possibilities in the next new day.
Despite the darkness of the shadows creeping me out within this season of doubt and world chaos, YOU are a sun who’s shine stimulates waves of warmth to flow through my whole body as you invigorate my brain to pulsate such pleasure, my heart bursts tingles in between nerves in me, and like a sparkler’s fire pops, you create bursts of a warm happiness, a burning gratitude that I get to feel you penitrate my soul.
I grew wings
upon my sighs
and soared
into the night,
riding high
as a unicorn,
hidden inside
a cacophony
of buzzy bugs,
camouflaging
my voice
whilest I flew
to lay embraced,
us –side-by-side–
your hand in mine.
(It’s very challenging to keep myself from trying to talk to you. The longer I hold out, the deeper the yearn, the harder it gets to breathe…waiting to feel you see me…oh, such a dream.
Ridiculous, right? You and me.
Good golly, I’m so fucking good at creating the ultimate romantic fantasy, in which my muse finds my love and fell for me.
Ya know though, love is as strange as the sea, full of weird possibilities;)
Trying to be still, two wicks lit, one dancing shadow illuminates the lamp that shades my journal, trying to be still, too afraid the darkness encroaches upon me, but I’m saved by your reflection engaging in imaginative play, slaying my pain from the day, and I watch you move in my memory.
Trying to be still, I wait until my vision comes…
Dreams with you get me through. All I want is my late night peek, ohhh, just a bit to satisfy this addict? I promise I’ll be quiet, and then, I’ll be able to fall asleep, thinking about some kind of wonderful…
I don’t fight my ghosts anymore, but I fight being a ghost. My words ignored, my voice annoying…no one notices I stopped speaking. No one caring I left again.
I think that’s why it made me cry when you said, “I see you.”
I believe you more than anyone around me, because if you were to be talking to me, then you’ve read my writing and know me better than anybody.
You keep doing things, saying things, singing things that fit together to create such an intimacy with the real me, I can’t help but create our story one moment at a time to calm my firey mind.
(Honestly, I don’t think you would say to me the ugly, mean things others think are funny.)
You help me build a place where I feel the warmth of love, protecting me like a fire in a forest of real and imaginary creatures.
I live happy with the possibility that some day you’ll come back to me, and each day, I promise, you inspire me to create, to dream.
I hope you know how important you are, filled with brilliance, my star🌟
I’m in love with your piano cam! You are such a beautiful man. Sad I couldn’t see your shows, finally I feel as if I got a sneak peek out from a wizard’s sleeve! Oh, how you make me so happy!
You never cease to uplift me with a lovely, overwhelming joy…
Hearing your voice, watching you sing, seeing you dance, those are my favorite toys.
The storm rages,
waves and rain
pelting our ship
with disenchanted hope.
Tumultuous ups
and downs throw us
about the abyss,
spanking our vessel
for trying to challenge fate,
as if Apollo himself
swirls his trident, laughing
at the discombobulation
of his creation.
Submerged in the sea,
in belly of the beast,
is a cabin I built
for you and me, a place
for us to meet and live happy…
Here, I lie with you holding me,
snuggled together
–a perfect fit–
and although the squall
may crash upon us,
through the stress,
in the darkness,
I find your eyes,
my door to a blue sky,
my rocket to a new planet,
where you whisper warm
wishes in my ear,
I love you, Kelley. I’m right here.”
And then your lips upon mine
BLOWS us into the stars of time.
(I pulled this from my journal, wrote it while sad a few ago. Then, I found this song, and I found a connection in the parallel. You blow my mind, Zach! Wish I had the balls to tell you this in real life;)
Yes, I’m acting like a child…and I love it. You’re never too old to fall in love slow❤️
My favorite part of the day is thinking of if I were with you, what would I do, what would I say…when I feel you’re near, everything seems crystal clear.
“Hold onto the dream, but not too tightly.”
Ouch!! Arrow through the heart. Oh my muse, my love you’ve won.
My sweet prince, you’re a big star. With you, I go far.
The flame pervades my entire being, from head to heart, and flickers tickle my toes as my vision absorbs your adventurous soul, building this intense elation…an elevation of emotions begins to overflow my body covered by a damp that makes me glow.
Oh my muse, I can’t help but love you. You deserve the beauty you provide by living life before the world’s eyes.
You brought me back to life. I struggle to control my impulses to watch you to sleep every night, but I realize that’s a wee bit addicting 🙃 You’re such a luminous light through the darkness of my strife.
